The personality test that broke autopilot: when useful patterns calcify
On the smoke alarms we need when mirrors stop working.
I walked up to my desk on Monday morning, exactly at 8.27am. I stood in front of it and stared.
Someone’s been sitting at my desk. That’s odd.
My workmate laughed.
How do you know that?! I tried SO hard to make it look just like you’d left it!
She’d come in during the weekend to catch up on work and brought her son with her. He’d been sat at my desk with strict instructions to behave, don’t touch anything! Afterwards, she’d carefully set my chair, repositioned my mouse, believing everything was exactly as I’d left it on Friday at 5pm.
We laughed together.
It’s totally okay! I don’t mind at all! It’s just that things look… off.
By now she was hysterically laughing. My desk space was always completely empty at the close of each day. No pens out, no files, no paper stacks of any kind and I hadn’t yet embraced my love for post-its. What exactly had her child moved to show he was even there?
Probably the mouse by 5 degrees. I think it’s slightly more angled now.
I walked into the office one day after lunch. My manager looked up at me and grinned.
Right on time!
I smiled back, sat down at my desk, typing in my login. I’m being watched, good thing I wasn’t late.
It’s just I’ve realised I can set my watch by you. You leave for lunch exactly at 12pm every day and you walk in and sit down again exactly at 1pm an hour later. I find it fascinating!
We laughed together and I determined to mess things up the next day by leaving for lunch at 12.01pm, just for him.
This was me at 24.
Perfectionist.
Extremely efficient.
Really really good at what I did.
Terrified of failing.
Stressed.
Anxious.
I was driven to be the perfect employee. To do everything right, serve my clients and make them love me, amaze my boss with my brilliance and willingness to comply with anything asked. To not rock the boat, ever.
People liked me. I could win them over by just seeing who they were behind the bluster. One of my favourite colleagues used to yell in my face.
I’m not mad at you, Dallas! I’m just so frustrated at the system!!
He’d walk up to my desk after lecturing a class and lose control when I asked for his attendance list.
Six years later when I left that company, he had been my most rock-solid supporter and obliging colleague for years.
Fast forward many more years and I had perfected the art.
You’ll have issues with this client but just roll with it. Everything will be delayed, but they are the client so if they want that, it’s on them. Oh, and the account holder doesn’t like us very much so probably won’t reply to you very often.
Unacceptable. I reset engagement rules when I took over clients, redefining a healthy working relationship with each one. Showed the value in the partnership. No deadlines were ever missed, ever again. Clients willingly hopped on my process conveyor belt and hopped off at the end happy. I found it easy.
What?! That client?! How did you do that?
My senior manager was a broken record. I couldn’t articulate the “how” because it was just what I did, and he’d been so conditioned by the team mantra of “it’s good enough” that anything different came as a surprise every single time he encountered it.
On the surface, for my whole career I was dutiful, committed, focussed on being the best I could possibly be. I solved problems with obsession and built new systems with a fierce determined focus to prove my worth. I was a strong leader and adored training teams and seeing them succeed. People told me I was doing well.
On the inside? It was costing me everything.
I completed a DiSC behavioural assessment in March 2025 and I got mad. Like real mad. I emailed the facilitator in a manner that was very out of character for me. I may have called my assessment results akin to a newspaper horoscope and demanded a re-sit.
Dallas needs her own “corner” where she can work for best possible results. The manager/leader must be ready to help and advise her when needed. The manager/leader should be willing to carry the responsibility for the big picture as she does not want to get involved in “affairs bigger than herself.”
Hesitates in starting new things.
Can’t see the forest for the trees.
Helps rather than makes decisions.
She may have difficulty expressing her own feelings and wishes.
I got madder with every statement. Corners infuriate me.
Now, I realise those familiar with DiSC may have different perspectives here. I know. I dived in with obsession into every dark Reddit space, every hole of the internet I could find to prove why this test was inherently flawed and the company was throwing away money on the upcoming DiSC workshop I absolutely did not want to attend.
The facilitator replied to me in such a kind manner, suggesting that perhaps we chat again after the workshop she was running with our team and see what had changed, if anything.
That DiSC workshop was a defining moment for me and marked the descent into an outcome that looking back, was wholly unavoidable.
The facilitator and I talked for over an hour a week after the workshop. She agreed that perhaps I had in one sense thrown the assessment because I had over-analysed it rather than responding quickly like we were instructed to. I had placed on the far-left hovering exactly between C and S, when it was much more apparent after meeting me in person that I was a balanced blend of C and I.
However, the assessment had asked me to respond for my current role and how I operated within it and I could not argue at the facts staring straight at me with blinding clarity.
The results were showing what I had become.
I hated that for me with every fibre of my being.
I saw the cost.
Lunchbreaks had disappeared entirely, and no one had even noticed.
By 1 August 2025 I was done, completely, and on a mission to reclaim who I was again, building something uniquely for me.
So, here we are in January 2026!
The last few months have been insanely liberating. I may still be on a journey figuring things out and the shape this takes still wobbles in the wind far more than I would like, but stress is no longer a constant companion.
My husband laughs at me.
When are you finishing up for the day?
Just give me five minutes, I’m almost there. I’m having so much fun creating.
He walks into the office a little later.
Are you almost done? It’s been two hours.
He tells me I’ve returned to the essence of who I was when we first started dating - an inspired university undergrad who saw the world at her fingertips and believed anything was possible.
I didn’t know I had lost that part of me until she returned.
I couldn’t see what I’d become while I was becoming it. The DiSC assessment functioned as a mirror. An uncomfortable, infuriating mirror, but one that showed me the gap between who I knew was and who I’d performed myself into being. It took an external tool to reveal what I couldn’t see from inside the pattern.
When I first started writing here, everything was framed with the disclaimer that I was the “rookiest of all rookies”, an “absolute beginner”. Then, it moved to “honest reflections” and a “messy middle”. Now? I simply write “field notes” from the journey. I’m not going to apologise any more for where I am, my voice in this space or diminish myself so others don’t have to – there I said it, that took guts for this Kiwi!
This newsletter will zigzag in many fascinating directions - em dashes, visual story experiments, context engineering frameworks, whatever is sparking my curiosity in our changing AI landscape. If you’re looking for a single-lane tutorial series, you’re in the wrong place. The point here isn’t the topics; it’s developing the thinking skills to catch yourself when useful patterns harden into something that hurts you. AI collaboration demands this of us.
In 2026, I’m exploring how we build systems that catch us when we’ve automated ourselves into corners we didn’t mean to back into. How we use tools that show us what doesn’t fit, identifying the gaps between who we think we are and who we’ve actually become. The DiSC assessment functioned as a mirror, but not the kind that flatters, more like a smoke alarm disguised as one. It reflected who I’d become back to me, then immediately started shrieking about it. It forced me to pay attention to something I’d been too close to see.
I used to notice when someone moved my mouse by five degrees. I used to arrive at exactly 8:27am without even realising I was doing it. Those weren’t signs of excellence, they were early signs I’d stopped making choices. My brain had handed control over to habit loops and walked away. Perhaps the work ahead isn't about trying harder to catch yourself in the act, but instead about building partnerships with technology that tap you on the shoulder when your patterns stop serving you, before you’ve lost years to them.
If you’re somewhere between who you were and who you’re becoming, we’re navigating the same territory - let’s dare next together.
These are the people who have helped frame the new year ahead for me most spectacularly. Give them a read, if you haven’t already, you’ll be inspired too…
Anna Levitt summed up the spiral I found myself in during December, loving every moment while simultaneously neglecting healthy boundaries that started costing me sleep and sanity. I’m challenged to proceed forward with the intention to create a sustainable year that enables me to keep going strong.
I Spent 30 Days Following the Substack Playbook
AI Meets Girl Boss launched her year with a magnificent visual collaboration. She’s been such a kind guide towards the dilemma I ended 2025 on. Her 2026 Lookbook tipped me over the edge a week ago on Sunday afternoon and my new visual story was born (go check it out! I’ve found ME). She then upped the game to the ultimate level by releasing a custom GPT to help everyone test and develop their own visual story on Substack. Seems fitting to start the year with self-discovery.
I Changed One Visual System — and Gained 136 Subscribers in Two Weeks
Then, Mia Kiraki posted her plans and pivots for the year ahead. I was challenged. Her words gave me pause and also inspired. I want to do all the things, I want to run ahead to where she is, but I need to be honest with where I am now and focus in on what is in front of me next, doing that well. Mia always encourages us to lift our gaze.
What the ROBOTS are building behind the scenes
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Love this post, Dallas, and it's so great to see that the DiSC reflection helped you to see the person you had become and the person you had yet to be. Really excited to see how that journey continues into 2026 and beyond. Thank you once again for writing with such clarity and honesty. FWIW I can always tell if someone's been sat at my desk 😉
“I’m not going to apologise any more for where I am, my voice in this space or diminish myself so others don’t have to – there I said it, that took guts for this Kiwi!”
Yes, yes & yes!! 🙌🏼 🤍